This has certainly been a year to remember, I constantly found myself moving towards the real stars in the upper skies, dancing around in sincere anger or… insincere happiness with the emulating fireflies.
I promised myself id stop chasing memories in my dreams but towards the middle of the year it seemed to be the only possible solution to my damaged mental and emotional state. I’ve always been one to inflict the pain of the past upon myself but by July, I had finally had enough. I had to convince myself that the world didn’t owe me a single thing and so I had to move on paying my dues to myself. I decided to lay my own heart on my own chest like red roses on mahogany caskets and finally put my memories to rest.
As an artist and a writer, you come to realize that you are amongst the saddest people on this earth, not because you are hurt but because you are constantly fighting towards changing perspectives and recreating lives. I travelled around the world in my mind this year and although it was filled with beauty, I realized that it was filled with an enormous amount of sadness too. I looked around and all I could see was cracking levies, bruised kneecaps and hearts filled with question marks. What I’m getting to here is … I am truly grateful for my life and although it comes with its challenges, I can’t help but feel it’s nothing I can’t deal with.
I’ve met people on my journey that were put on my path to teach me lessons of appreciation, love and beauty, I’ve also met people that were put in my path to teach me lessons of struggle, heartbreak and disease. I appreciate every single one of them for the impact they’ve had on my life. I used to create my style around struggle but I’ve realized that people don’t care much for struggle, we are all struggling with something in life, my style didn’t fix problems, what it did do was remind people of the sufferance. So this year I changed it – I turned it to that of beauty and light, if anything, I needed people to realize that their lives aren’t as bad as they think, somewhere out there someone is being laid to rest at a funeral without chairs, without music, without tears, without goodbyes.
My biggest appreciation goes out to the people who have supported every decision I made this year, those who have supported my writing, my career as a model, those who have appreciated my presence and those who, although extremely difficult, have put up with my erratic decisions.
I appreciate those who have hurt me, those who have loved me, those who have followed me and those who have allowed me to follow them.
We are human and we have a say in the matter of our own prescriptions, thereby we define our humanity.
We, the fireflies, may never equal stars in size but we will always achieve a star like start as soon as we realize we are capable of sustaining the part.
Thank you Kabelo Khanye and Inspired4Writers for reassuring me of the life that still runs through my veins.
You are beauty and all that grows from it. May you and all the readers be blessed with a positive and successful festive season and New Year.