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Nqobile Khoele

By: Nqobile Khoele

You have just wiped your tears, taken your first deep breath after crying and it dawns on you that you are now part of a group of women who you never wanted to be part of: a group of women who are being called controlling, independent, man-eaters, loners and lastly, single. Yes, you are now part of the club of single ladies. Whether you are single now or were many years before, society has never made it easy for women to stand out and be single and proud: the pressures of marriage is felt from peers and family. Is it really all that bad? Is life so sad without having to know that you have someone other than a man in your life?

As a woman, make being single the result it is in your life, so if you are depressed, crying, always frustrated, can’t stand the opposite sex, spitting venom and in a pool of bitterness, you have yourself to blame. Yes he broke your heart but get over it. The sooner, the better. I’m not saying don’t vent just don’t find yourself doing it longer than need be. If it means burning all his gifts, photo’s or selling some for good cash, donate to charity, do it and get that anger out and feel good about it. Don’t allow bitterness to live in you because of one man’s screw up.

You need to learn to move on and you can’t do that if you’re still hanging on to dead wood. It’s okay to let go, it’s okay to be dumped, think of it as a favour you didn’t ask for but accept with teary eyes. Acceptance is key to unlock the healing process, don’t push blame, don’t question if you won’t get answers, please ladies don’t get all psychotic on the guy but leave him alone and stay far from him as possible.

Embrace, take charge and live: this is what being single is all about. Count it all joy that you get to spend more time with God, allow him to be your man and to take care of you, heal your broken heart, be your friend; He always has your best interest first on His list. Be in control of your life, plan better, spoil yourself, educate yourself, empower yourself, use this time to start a new hobby, do some of the “always wanted to do” things, get to know and love the self. Make the most of this time you have to still do all you need to do before you die. Don’t want what she has but be happy with what you have, don’t be jealous of a woman in love but be satisfied with your current status, don’t compete with others but trust God for your purpose. Be the best you and lastly, don’t sell yourself cheap to get attention. Stress less, smile more, invite God on this journey and live your life as best as you can!

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