By: Nqobile Khoele
It all starts with what our minds were filled with: watching all those cartoons of how they all live happily ever after. Does it really exist? Who is entitled to this “happily ever after”? Is it really worth waiting for and can you ever move on when it doesn’t work?
I fell in love, had it all and was on cloud nine, no one could pull me down. All I wanted was him and my life was planned around him. My life was all about him, the wrong he did I forgave, because I loved him so much. I never thought I’d be wake up to face a day without him, I loved him with my all and told my mind that this is my prince charming and I don’t want anybody but him and he isn’t going anywhere. He is mine forever… little did I know. Life teaches us lessons in many different ways. The experience for me has always been the best teacher, as painful as it was learning this lesson on love, it’s more rewarding second try around. We may have not gotten our ‘happily ever after’ together, still I believe it is out there.
The falling in love is easy, the staying in love is an everyday work in process you don’t stop staying in love. You don’t sweat either, love is easy-going it’s us who complicate love by having high expectationas, wanting something that doesn’t exist in your reach, expecting a partner to be what you want and not loving them for who they are. Love is fun, love is loose, it doesn’t tie you down, drain you, it’s the kick-start to your day, the butterflies in your tummy, the grin that pisses the single guys and girls off and you can’t help being happy. It hurts you can’t wear a frown. Love is pure, there is no need to hide it, it comes from two people who have been waiting to connect on an intimate level and not be shy of stretch marks or childhood scar. Love is joy unexplainable, that feeling you get and your whole inner and outer being just glows with love.
Sadly all of the above can be gone in a few words: “it’s over”,” it’s not you it’s me”,” I’ve been lead into a different path”, oh classic line “you deserve better…” sound familiar, yes I know these heart piercing words, that make you question life and depress you, steal a part of your joy, feel like you’ve been made a fool of and don’t understand why. Well its simple he/she just wasn’t the one because if they were, they would have stayed and worked it out. They did you a favour and saved you from getting married to becoming a divorcee or sick with AIDS.
After breaking up with someone, cry because you’re human. Vent and get it all out there, don’t save anger but let it out. Take a step back and review the relationship. Correct yourself and don’t walk into a relationship with the same errors. Embrace being single and don’t stop living because you are waiting for a partner keep on keeping on and they will come into your life to complement your values and successes. Not to complicate your future. Yes it’s painful but get over it and try again, never compromise your self-worth, you deserve the best and will receive it. Three things make a relationship work: communication, commitment and respect, love must be real, love is between two people and God also keeps others out of your relationship. Lastly, love never ends so don’t give up and wait upon the Lord!